fullmetalfisting:

one time in high school i didnt read the assigned book and i was like fuck it imma write this essay anyway and i had no idea what the book was even about or who the characters were so i just spewed out some shit about archetypes and the teacher came up to me after class and told me i was the only student who truly understood the book 

thorki:

I JUST SAW A GUY AT WALMART AND HE LOOKED LIKE MORGAN FREEMAN AND HE CAUGHT ME LOOKING AT HIM AND HE POINTED AT ME AND SAID “IM NOT MORGAN FREEMAN”

I love it when people are affectionate with me. I like when they always invite me places, or text me, or call me, I wouldn’t even mind if they blew up my fb wall with hearts and what not. I would rather have that person than someone who makes me text them first all the time and replies back like 10 hours later.

darrynek:

hungarian:

i wanna be rich enough to eat out every night

it’s simple just become a lesbian